30 March 2008 - 17:16I’m Back!

It’s been almost six weeks since I have journaled! And to be honest, I’ve enjoyed the time away. I’ve been so busy. First midterms, then I was sick, then spring break, and then Easter and finally election business (Here in Texas we’re still not done picking delegate to the national convention. Part two was this weekend with part three to come in June) I’ve maintained well. I really only gained back a pound that I had barley lost to begin with.But while I maintained my weight, I didn’t really eat as healthily as I would have liked–but I chalk most of that to being busy and stressed with the above mentioned. So that’s one of my main goals, is to get back to the healthy guidelines.

You know though, I enjoyed not posting and not counting points and not keeping up with the blogs and not stepping on the scales twice a day (yeah, I’m kinda crazy). I was burnt out and overwhelmed! I felt like most of my energy was focused on what I was eating and what I shouldn’t be eating. I know I wasn’t on a diet and I know wasn’t doing anything too crazy but after I posted about how much I loved my body I had a really hard time spending so much time and energy changing it. Ya know? And I kept reading blogs about people being a slave to the scale–stories that reflect what I had become, but didn’t want to become. So, it was good to have a break. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking on the break and now I have a fresh perspective.

I also quit going to WW meetings and am now only an on-line member, which I think has helped a lot. I was getting very stressed out by my meetings. I didn’t feel like I belonged. The people there were very, very serious and took their weight loss journey very seriously. I’m not that serious. I tried to be, and I stressed myself out.

Maybe part of my lack of seriouness is what has lead me to my slow weight loss. Only 22 pounds in a year. Oh god I was stressed out about that there before the break. But you know what, even if it takes me two more years to lose 44 pounds, I’m ok with that. I’ll still meet my goal but in a way I think I can handle better. I’ve seen blogs were people lose the weight quickly, but then they seem to be very hard of themselves when they gained back even 5 pounds. Hello! Five Pounds! If you’ve already lost more than 50, a five pound adjustment is fine. I just don’t want to be upset with myself for not losing fast enough or for maybe gaining some of it back. I don’t want to get that anal.

Anyways, enough with me ranting. I am going to start counting again. And even with all the previous ranting, this week I plan on taking the quick start approach of 20 points a day. But! I have every intention of earning activity points and eating ALL my weekly points. If I go over my plan, that’s ok. I just kinda want to get back in the swing of things. Get my body used to losing again, because I do still want to lose.

Next week it’s strictly focusing on healthy guidelines.

So that’s that!